Here are the top entries from our dirty joke contest! Everyone who took the time to enter will be on the guest list tomorrow evening for Babylon Launch Party!

Must be 19+ to read these jokes! You’ve been warned!

Mackenzie G
The cute young student in pigtails blurts out to her teacher, “KISS ME!! KISS ME!!!”
He says “Kiss you? I shouldn’t even be fucking you!”

Krista A
Norma and Betty are having tea.
Norma says, “I’m thinking of having my breasts enhanced.”
Betty days, “Oh really? I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached.”
Norma says, “Funny… I thought your husband was already blonde”

Darby C
What’s the worst thing about giving Willie Nelson a blow job?
Realizing it’s not Willie Nelson.

Tammy F
You know who really likes to get fisted?
Sock puppets!

Anna N
What does an old lady taste like?
Depends!

Tessa T
Two cowboys were sitting in a bar when one asked his friend if he had heard of the new sex position called rodeo. His friend says no, what is it?
Well you mount your wife from the back, reach around and cup her breasts. Then say “Boy, those are almost as nice as your sisters”.
Then see if you can hold on for 8 seconds.

Arianna D
While sitting at a bar, an old man leans over to a young woman and says “I like you, you remind me of my little toe!”
“Oh yeah?” she says with a smile “Why? Because I’m cute and petite?”
“Nah,” he replies “’cause I’ll probably end up banging on my coffee table later”

Colleen R
What do you get when you finger bang a fortune teller on her period?
Your palms red for free!

Dafna V
Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, “Your thing doesn’t have any skin on it!”.
“I’ve been circumcised.”, the other replied.
“What’s that mean?”
“It means they cut the skin off the end.”
“How old were you when it was cut off?”
“My mom said I was two days old.”
“Did it hurt?”, the kid asked inquiringly.
“You bet it hurt, I didn’t walk for a year!”

Caley V
Whats the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t jelly it in her ass.

Runner Up!

Azadeh M (she submitted a bunch of great ones)
Whats the difference between a camero and an erection?
I dont have a camero.

A husband says to his wife, “make me happy and sad at the same time.”
So she says, “your dick is bigger than your brother’s.”

How do you tell if a girl is ticklish?
Give her a test-tickle!

Winner!

Nial B
Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
“Yeah teach?” he replies.
“If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?” asks the teacher.
Matt answers “Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off.”
“No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you’re thinking.” the teacher responds.
“Well, teach, I’ve got a question for you… There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?”
The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, “Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that’s sucking on the ice cream.”
Matt replies “No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking!”